Frequently Asked Questions
Choosing Sex Toys
You might consider checking out a rechargable or plug-in vibe. The Hitachi Magic Wand is a big, powerful plug-in; the Wahl is slightly smaller, more quiet, and has softer speeds. For a tiny, hand-held toy try the Nea: it's rechargable, silent, very pretty and has a wide variety of vibrations. And if you're looking for a toy to use with or without a partner, the We-vibe is a quiet, multi-fuction toy made of 100% silicone.
There are some extremely quiet vibes available now. The Nea is almost silent, as is the fukuoku and the We-vibe. All of the silicone vibrators tend to be very quiet too. Check out our noise ratings on each toy when searching our catalogue online.
It would be hard to assume what your wife will enjoy unless she's given you some hints. Try searching websites together to get some ideas, or drop in to see the toys in person.
A gift certificate might be the safest choice, as it's difficult to choose a toy for someone you don't know. Books, massage oils, and chocolate body paint also make very good gifts, and are easier to give and receive between people who aren't very close.
Many people choose a vibrating cock ring to share with a partner. A great new toy that can be used during intercourse is the We-vibe. The We-vibe sits inside the vagina pressing up against the g-spot with the outside arm pushing against the clit. The We-vibe is small and flexible and is meant to be used with a well lubricates penis, toy or fingers, so an excellent partner toy! A toy that both of you benefit from can be a great way to start playing with toys together. Some women worry that their partner may feel left out if she's enjoying a toy or that he may feel replaced by the toy. Most of the men we talk to, however, think it's really hot watching their lover enjoy herself, with or without a toy!
Who knows really? I think the question might be more useful if it were "what does my partner like?" There aren't any fast and hard rules about what men and women like; we're all too individual to generalize. It's always a good idea to look at anyone as his or her particular self before considering what they might or might not like in terms of very broad categories like sex or gender.
The best suggestion would be to shop together, or at least do some research together. Check out the online store if one of you is too shy to come to the store. If you want to surprise someone or can't get them to tell you what they might like then pick something smallish and not too expensive and perhaps a little simple to start with. Make sure it's multi-speed so there's some variety.
If you're buying your first vibe it should be multi-speed and not too big unless you're sure you like big. Something not too expensive is probably a good idea. Vibes that can be used either externally or internally (the cylindrical vibes) are good because they're multi-purpose. Other than that, choose soemthing that looks fun to you since this is the point—to have fun!
There really is no "best" vibrator or one toy that does it all—that's why people end up with toy collections. However, some toys are better made than others; the Fun Factory silicone vibes, for instance, are high-quality toys with reliable motors. "Best" also depends on best for what. The Water Dancer is a great toy, but not so good for penetration. Some vibes are better than others for G-spot or prostate stimulation: the Slim G, for example, is a better-than-most g-spot toy. "Best" also depends on what material you're looking for; the hard plastic toys tend to be more powerful than the jelly or silicone vibes, but not everyone likes the sensation of hardness. Small vibes like the Fukuoku and the Micro mini are great because they are extremely discreet, but they may not have enough power for many people, and run on watch batteries that need to be replaced frequently. Some really popular toys include the We-vibe, the Lelo Gigi and Ina, as well as the best selling Silver Bullet.
About Sex Toys
Pleasure Balm is a cooling gel that contains menthol and benzocaine or just menthol (check the ingredients to see if the type you're buying has both). It's intended purpose is to reduce sensation in the penis to allow a man to delay orgasm. It's especially effective when used with a condom (so his partner isn't numbed—which might not be what you're going for!) and within a program for reversing premature ejaculation. Other uses include using on clits and nipples for tingling or for sensation play (hot, cold, numb, etc.).
Japanese condoms are made using a higher quality of latex than most North American brands, and are thus thinner, smell less rubbery, and are generally a whole lot nicer to use. They are manufactured in the USA by Japanese companies. They are thinner than condoms manufactured elsewhere while adhering to the same safety standards as all condoms sold in North America. They are also of the same size as other condoms except the Maxx or Kimono Large which are bigger than average.
We're not sure. Jelly rubber that smells like chemicals might still be off-gassing, and Health Canada thinks that may be harmful. Better-quality rubber (such as what you get in the Vibratex models) is more stable; furthermore, the material isn't as porous, making it easier to clean. You might consider using a condom with any jelly toy as an easy way to keep them clean. Either way, silicone is our first choice for sex toy materials as it's hypo-allergenic and non-porous: it's easy to clean, lasts forever and can be shared once cleaned properly. As of 2008, all toys at Venus Envy are phthalate free, for more info about phthalates, check this link:
A while back, in an effort to cater to the "new" female audience, sex toy manufacturers started making toys that looked less like penises. Another reason is that Japanese sex toys are prohibited from looking like penises, so manufacturers in Japan make toys that look like animals. There has been a move back to more "realistic" toys but the market has grown so much that there is room, it seems, for all the different varieties.
Yes. If we have it in the store, then yes people buy it.
The Hitachi Magic Wand is a very powerful vibe—too powerful for some women, but others need that kind of power to have an orgasm. Plus, some women like to come really, really hard and find that a lot of stimulation will let them do that. As for really big toys, well, we're all built differently and enjoy different types of sensation. That goes for butt plugs, too, although there are good reasons why almost anyone can enjoy anal play: the ass has more nerve endings than the penis and the vagina so the potential for fun anal play is pretty high
Yes. People like a great many things, and we attempt to cater to as wide a spectrum of desires as we can. Desire and pleasure are very individual things, meaning that what's statistically average or considered "normal" isn't necessarily what revs your engine. Lots of stuff is especially fun precisely because it's taboo or uncommon. All this erotic diversity means that everyone is different, not that any kind of desire is better or worse than any other, regardless of how mainstream or exotic it may be.
The short answer is that silicone is itself more expensive than the various kinds of plastic and rubber commonly used to make sex toys. In addition, because of this expense and because silicone isn't very easy to work with, silicone toys are usually made by small manufacturers, which means less economy of scale but more attention to detail. We think the additional expense of silicone is well worth it, because silicone toys are usually of much higher quality than plastic or latex toys, and will last much longer. See our explanation of silicone sex toys for more details.
Some toys are loud because they're made of hard plastic, meaning there isn't any soft material to muffle the sound of the motor. The dual vibes can be particularly loud because they have two motors and there's a lot going on at once, which increases the noise.
For a few reasons:
- It's been featured in movies, ads and magazine articles, and had an entire episode of "Sex in the City" devoted to it.
- It was one of the first dual vibrators on the market.
- It's a good toy: both motors are multi-speed and on separate controls. The rotating shaft can be adjusted to any angle. It comes with a year warranty.
The pearls are situated to stimulate the opening of the vagina and the first inch of the vaginal canal. This is where most of the nerve endings (feelings) are in the vagina so, in theory, this should be the best place to stimulate. That said, not everyone likes the same things—it's up to you whether you think this is a good thing or not.
A vibrator with a base or a sturdy cord can be used anally. If it's a corded egg vibe then you would use it anally with a condom over it (see above). If your vibrator is made of silicone and has a base on it then you can use it as is (with lube of course), otherwise, use it with a condom to keep it thouroghly clean.
The egg or bullet styles of vibrator are made for external use but can be inserted if used with a condom. This avoids getting vaginal fluid and lube inside the egg and so reducing its life, and also lets you retrieve the toy without pulling on the cord, which can damage the toy.
This refers to the fact that some vibes come with a separate battery pack and control unit, whereas many have the controls and battery built in as one unit. Some people like the cord because they can hand the controls to their lover, others prefer cordless because it's seems more streamlined. We don't think one is necessarily better than the other, just different.
Position of the Day: Sex in every Day in every Way is a fun guide; Satisfaction is a more "serious" book which includes detailed drawings for intercourse as well as oral and finger play. Both of these books are for boy/girl couples.
What's Happening to my Body — for boys or for girls
Deal With It — adolescent and teen girls
Changing Bodies, Changing Lives — adolescent and teen boys and girls
There's the aptly titled Coming Out to Parents, and also Coming Out, an Act of Love.
The Diva cup is made out of silicone and the keeper out of natural gum rubber (latex). They both work in the same way but are shaped a bit differently. The Diva has a slightly longer body with a more gentle taper at the base which some women find sits too low in the vagina causing irritation. Others may find the Diva more comfortable. The Diva comes with a one-year trial period and the Keeper has a three-month trial period. The only way to know which one (if either) will be comfortable is to try them. The final difference is that the Diva has been on the market for about a year and the Keeper for about 20 years. We know that the Keeper lasts for about 10 years, but don't know how long the Diva Cup will last.
Bad news, fellas—there is nothing short of surgery that will increase the size of a man's penis, and that ain't necessarily a sure or safe thing. Pumps offer a slight, temporary increase in size as they draw more blood than usual into an erection, but results are transitory. Cock rings can also temporarily increase size and rigidity by trapping more blood than usual in the erect penis. Any pills or lotions that claim to increase penis size are just bunk.
Premature ejaculation is something that many men experience, often as a result of forcing themselves to come really fast as teens when they had to rush in order to not get caught. Men can change this pattern in a few ways, including using a numbing agent and a condom, following a guide such as the Multi-Orgasmic Man or Coping With Premature Ejaculation, or trying a cock ring. It's usually a matter of re-training the body and mind—and one or any of these items or ideas are unlikely to "fix" anything unless the man is aware of the behavioural and associative patterns and causes involved.
Dilators are basically very smooth, hard dildos, used by women who have had vaginal surgery, tearing during childbirth, an episiotomy, etc. Because scar tissue is not elastic like pre-surgery vaginal tissue and may shrink as it heals, women can use a dilator to slowly stretch the scarred area. Smooth plastic vibes or smooth silicone dildos of a reasonable size can also be used for dilation.