Love Taps
Patrick Califia, writer, sex radical, and all-round font of erotic wisdom, has agreed to be our oracle and answer questions submitted by you, the visitors to our web site.
If you've read his collected advice columns in The Advocate Adviser, or his trenchant personal/political essays in Public Sex, Sex Changes, or Speaking Sex to Power, you'll know that Patrick is well-informed about the vagaries of the human heart, the mysteries of the libido, and how to pursue your desires — whatever they may be — safely, responsibly, and passionately.
11 May 2012
I have not had sex for a couple of years. Recently I decided to become active again and put a personal ad up on a dating site. I met a hot guy and we got it on, but after we had sex, I had a...
4 May 2012
What should you do if a condom breaks? I know my partner is HIV-positive. So far we have been lucky, but I have the pessimistic feeling that eventually something will go wrong. I want to know what...
27 April 2012
I have been married for six weeks, and my marriage still has not been consummated. I was (and still am) a virgin because I am from a very traditional culture. Growing up, I was constantly warned...
6 April 2012
Dear Patrick: My guy does not want my cats in the bedroom during sex. (I have two of them.) They are used to being wherever I am, and scratch on the door when I try to keep them out. Then he yells...
23 March 2012
My girlfriend loves to watch anything to do with vampires. She gets goose bumps when she watches these shows. I sometimes watch a vampire movie with her because I like taking advantage of her...
16 March 2012
Dear Patrick: How can you tell if someone is really a lesbian or not? I am dating a woman who speaks very passionately about lesbian politics, celebrities, music, history, feminism, etc. But when...
8 March 2012
A few years ago, my partner told me that she wanted to open our relationship (largely in order to go on a date with this one girl). I was going through hard times, so I wasn't in the headspace for...
7 March 2012
My lover, a transman, is breaking up with me because he says he does not get enough physical attention from me. I thought we had a very active sex life. We make love every time we see each other,...
24 February 2012
I have a therapist who promised she would recover all of my memories of incest. She was recommended to be by several friends. I have worked with this person for three years, spent a lot of money...
17 February 2012
I am the father of triplets. I love all of my babies and my wife, but I am about to lose it and leave. My wife and I have not been able to get a good night's sleep for months. She is irritable,...
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