Love Taps
Patrick Califia, writer, sex radical, and all-round font of erotic wisdom, has agreed to be our oracle and answer questions submitted by you, the visitors to our web site.
If you've read his collected advice columns in The Advocate Adviser, or his trenchant personal/political essays in Public Sex, Sex Changes, or Speaking Sex to Power, you'll know that Patrick is well-informed about the vagaries of the human heart, the mysteries of the libido, and how to pursue your desires — whatever they may be — safely, responsibly, and passionately.
8 February 2013
Dear Patrick: My girl and I went to a large public dance party, a rave actually. I saw a dude who had these really cool marks on his back, like raised scars, but I could tell they...
1 February 2013
Dear Patrick: I am a newly sober lesbian whose relationship broke up because I quit drinking. When I went to rehab, my partner assumed I would be able to “drink like a normal...
22 January 2013
Dear Patrick, I am a lesbian and a high femme. Nothing makes me feel happier than dressing up, putting on my makeup and high heels, and going out with a hot butch who knows how to...
18 January 2013
Dear Patrick: I have gross fantasies that make me feel awful about myself. I avoid getting turned on because that makes them harder to control. But eventually my libido wins. I jerk off, I come...
15 January 2013
Dear Patrick: My girlfriend insists on wearing a girdle during sex so her tummy won't poke out or shake. Then after we fuck, she gets nauseated and has stomach pains. Sometimes she even has...
11 January 2013
Dear Patrick: I have had fantasies about swing parties ever since I found out “the lifestyle” existed. After two years of often painful conversations, I finally persuaded my wife...
8 January 2013
Dear Patrick: I've had a regular trick for a couple of years now, and the guy is beginning to get on my nerves. He never calls first, just shows up and asks if I've got any beer....
4 January 2013
Dear Patrick: I am a lesbian in a long-distance relationship. My lover and I are in different graduate schools. It has been really hard to stay together while we pursue our...
31 December 2012
Dear Patrick: I recently started to get erections and masturbate. A friend told me about sex, and I have seen an adult movie where the people in it did all kinds of stuff. I hope you won't think I...
28 December 2012
Dear Patrick: Sex with my new husband was pretty exciting at first. But now we have gotten into a bit of a routine, and I am a little bored. I don't want...
