Being writhingly new to my forties and on a bit of a lock-up-your-sons-and-daughters rampage, I hurled this one into Carlyle Jansen's lap like a hot potato. Jansen owns the sex shop Good For Her, spearheads the Sexual Health, Education and Pleasure Project and is the mom of two young boys. "Wow, interesting," she comments wryly. "I feel like it takes me 10 years into my possible future."

Jansen says she sees "a couple of things here. While it could be jarring to find out that he is looking at hot mamas in porn or watching porn period, it is probably not the case that her son is fantasizing about her per se, just as the "daddy" fantasy is not usually about wanting to have sex with your actual father. If he is indeed fantasizing about her, she might notice it more so in the way he interacts with her and the energy she feels from it—the way he touches her, looks at her and kisses her that can feel intimate in an uncomfortable way."

Judging by your complete surprise over the matter and no reference to awkward touching, it's more likely that your son just likes his babes ripe and one of the many positive things about Mrs. Robinson-style erotica (despite the fact that, like most porn, it generally plays out stereotypically and without nuance) is its intent. "The fantasy of MILFs is often about sex with someone who is sexually empowered, confident, knowledgeable and has experience and sometimes about being controlled by or being taken care of by a woman," says Jansen. "Some might say that MILF porn presents a more positive, empowered image of women, which she could interpret as better than finding other kinds of porn that reinforces only a submissive side of women.

"It could also be about eroticizing women other than his peers." I would consider this a triumph on your part as a parent, raising a boy with sexually divergent, and dare I say it, exceptional taste.

Jansen reinforces your desire to engage in a discussion about porn, despite the unexpected genre. "[Porn] is not how real sex usually happens, it is often a fantasy with people taking on roles, and does not always involve safer sex," she says. "If he wants to learn about sex, there are other resources like books, as she suggested. The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex or Guide to Getting it On are great books, the latter being an easier read, as well as age-appropriate workshops such as those offered by the Sexual Health, Education and Pleasure Project."

Sex toys with male pleasure in mind are few and far between, so naturally the very minute I heard about the Blow Guard I had to request a sample. What is this marvellous new piece of sexual technology, you might ask yourself? Have a look at it here: www.blowguard.com.

Designed by a dentist named Dr. Joe, it aims to take the "job" out of "blowjobs." Dubious of its unbecoming design and not exactly being a champion at head to begin with (despite having grown up in the suburbs, where it was mandatory if you wanted a lift home from a party), I handed it off to a friend who is considered, as the lovely old expression goes, a BJ Queen. "You are daring me to guild the lily?" she asked. "I accept the challenge." She went to work on two test subjects. Here are her results:

"As the giver, I did worry that I may have been clamping too hard because although it guards the teeth, it also removes the ability to gauge pressure effectively. At certain points, it felt like I was applying a vice grip and in my effort to ease up, the damn thing would slip off. As for the claims of it taking the job out of blow jobs, I call pfffft because, man, this thing is work. But who are we kidding? This was invented for the receiver." Despite this fact, neither of BJQ's test subjects exactly offered the kind of feedback that would make you rush to plunk down $27.95.

Test subject no. 1, The Aardvark, "was adamant that it did not intensify his ecstasy with the powerful vibration" as the package states. No. 2, The Tiger, "found the vibration to be appealing and not unpleasant at all. Still, it served better as a fun novelty, an interesting diversionary massage, but he wanted to ditch it when it came down to business. In the end, he felt the Blow Guard to be a nice enhancement for an act that is already working just fine, thankyouverymuch."

Overall our BJ Queen "found the apparatus to be clumsy and rather superfluous. It's a bit of a production to get lubed up, turned on, set in, look like a yokel only to spit it off to the side once you realize that some natural, careful enthusiasm provides all the ecstasy a man can handle." A better investment might be Violet Blue's The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio, available for as low as $10.87 on Amazon.