Just to be clear, you did ask me in the same breath if you should dump him. Feeling a little insecure? Out of sorts? Conflicted? That's because it is fucking wretched to be in a relationship that offers little to no stability. So the big question is: what makes you so unworthy of some healthy love?

I suggest taking a long, gentle look at your own life instead of focusing all your energy (I apologize for being so blunt) on a depressed, sexless drug addict whose most significant emotional contribution to your relationship currently seems to be the guilt he feels about treating you so poorly. Maybe you're too scared to do this because of what you may find out about yourself—it's often easier to fret over someone else's flaws than to sort through your own—but you'll get nowhere with him if you don't feel right yourself.

You ask if letting him go to see if he comes back seems realistic but that implies there's anything realistic about the existing situation. It also implies that offering your unreturned encouragement has done anything to help him or change his mood. To say nothing of the biggest red flag of all: the lover. The minute we begin inviting partners to a relationship in order to protect ourselves from it rather than enhance it, we really need to ask ourselves why we're remaining in it in the first place. Though I often josh about teaching a workshop called Hey Swampy: Competitive Non-Monogamy for the Alcoholic Urbanite, it's just damaging, plain and simple.

Listen, babe, if you can't leave this man then nothing I say is going to make you, but it takes a lot of energy to be with someone who is so deeply hurt. If you're going to stay, please do yourself a favour and find a good therapist so that at least somebody's giving you some support.

I got no love from the We-Vibe. When worn, as per the instructions, while I made love, I felt like I was getting a UTI and, as a Magic Wand driver myself, I found the vibration nugatory. Insert side-splitting Pee-Vibe or Wee-Vibe pun here.

Shelley Taylor from Venus Envy (where they've sold, like, a bajillion) had this to say about the feedback she's been getting: "The We-Vibe has been unbelievably popular, and for some very good reasons. Its unique design allows for simultaneous clit and g-spot stimulation. Also many women find it to be small and flexible enough to use during intercourse. It's also a well-made, rechargeable toy that's easy to clean and maintain.

"That being said, there are some things about it that might not work for all women. It's not all that powerful. If someone regularly uses the Wand, it's likely that the We-Vibe is going to feel like a pleasant buzz, not even close to orgasmic. In terms of comfort, the We-Vibe is marketed as a 'couple's toy,' meaning they've built it to be used by one man and one woman while they're fucking, but some people won't be able to use it during sex due to their or their partner's shape and size and so on."

(In some of their promotion, the makers are very careful to note that "the world is looking for toys to spice up the average heterosexual couple's sex life and the We-Vibe does that without alienating or replacing the man. The We-Vibe is a non-threatening, non-phallic, elegant little device.")

For someone who doesn't need a whole lot of torque and likes the idea of the clit and g-spot being attended to simultaneously, the We-Vibe could be just the thing. Shelley "really liked it as a g-spot toy when I turned it around and used the larger end inside and the smaller end outside. And a penis isn't really necessary: the We-Vibe works really well with fingers too."

If this all sounds intriguing but the hefty price tag still has you on the fence, I'd suggest scoping the list of this year's Genie nominees for a possible playmate. The We-Vibe was included in their gift bags.