Love Bites

Adventures in Maybe Shitting

29 September 2011

I have an older man boyfriend. He mentioned that he wants to play with my scat. Have me defecate on him.

I was a bit surprised. We went to talk to the medical experts about the risk and they said there is a risk of parasites.

I am concerned about his mental need to have this. I asked him and he said he never done it before, but he would like to try it with me.

He tried his own as he was not sexual active for a long time and was looking for things to excite him.

He told me he doesn't want to try it with others. Just me.

I told him it is not the kind of thing that I feel comfortable doing. He said no problem, but once in a while he brings it back up.

Sometimes I wonder what is causing him to feel this way and if it is a natural thing. I asked him this and he said it has to do with discipline and being disciplined enough to be able to have that in his mouth and not be grossed out like the rest of society.

Any suggestions? Should we go to a psychologist?

Corrado

I commend your boyfriend for offering such a frank and precise analysis of his desire—we don’t often hear such clear motives for scat play. This might help us all understand it just a little better. He wants to be taken to the edge. He wants to test his boundaries and he wants you to be his ambassador on this adventure. His ambASSador, so to speak.

I will tell you one thing that I know when it comes to people who get hard for shit and that is this: it is very rare that this idea strikes a person later in their life. I would guess this is something that he’s been interested in for much longer than he’s letting on. But as this is a poorly understood and deeply condemned erotic interest that may be met with very mixed results, it is sometimes tricky to divulge the extent of one’s relationship with it. There are a few sexual proclivities that evoke an overwhelming sense of unhealthy fixation— coprophilia is definitely one of them. If shit’s your thing, you already know from reading peoples’ thoughts on it, both in social and professional environments that you need to be pretty careful about how and to whom you discuss the matter.

Corrado, listen, the bottom line is if you don’t want to shit on your boyfriend then you don’t have to. You are welcome to go to a therapist together but remember that therapists are people too, with their own prejudices and sexual hang-ups. You may hear a lot of theory (some of it now over 100 years old) trying to explain why people are obsessed with shit but not a lot of open and shame-free discussion on the acting out of intimate fantasies and how to discuss these things without everyone getting all prickly and defensive.