Get It Straight

I don’t know one woman who isn’t driven completely apeshit by bad punctuation, so first off you need to clean up your grammar if you’re going to date anyone, all right? I just spent 15 minutes reworking your letter before putting it in print. Please do not make the same mistake with a potential love interest. 

You can meet transsexual women the way you meet anyone – by leaving your house. Transsexual women socialize and work in all sectors of society. 

You also need to perhaps revise or explore the concept that you are “acting on” something. Sleeping with a trans-sexual woman is not a deviant compulsion. If, for excitement purposes, you need to see it as an aberrant impulse, it may be best to pursue your interest within the context of anonymous encounters or sex work. 

Speaking of the latter, “shemale” is a term used by transsexual sex workers, so if you are going to refer to a transsexual woman as a shemale, it is most appropriate in the context of sex work and by the woman’s lead.

Outside of this context (and even within it), it may be offensive to trans-sexual people who have a resistance to labels that reduce them to their crudest trait. It implies that a transsexual woman is only attractive because she is transsexual. Many trans-sexual women prefer not to be expressly categorized or eroticized based solely on their transsexuality, and some only do so within the frame-work of prostitution because such categorization is expected. 

Also, generally speaking, in the context of sex work the term implies that the sex worker has not had genital reassignment surgery. You will meet some transsexual women who adore their cachet and love being treated like mythical creatures.

You may also meet transsexual women online, on the many dating sites where people go to find love and lust interests. 

A bisexual is generally defined as someone who sleeps with both men and women. Seeing as how the majority of transsexual women identify as women (with those who prefer not to be labelled generally identifying toward the female gender or at least gender-free) I would not call you bisexual. Until you suck a dick attached to someone who is a man (and I mean man in its own expansive array of definitions), you’re sleeping with a woman. 

For further discourse on transsexuality from transsexuals, please see the work of Julia Serano (Whipping Girl) and Viviane Namaste (just Google her – you’ll find articles). You might also like the more social-minded work of Renee Reyes as well: “Nearly all new admirers can’t wait to learn how they might become intimate with a T-girl,” she writes. “That’s understandable: I recognize that your desire is most closely associated with that motivating strain at your midsection. Still, I’d strongly advise that you learn more about transgenderism, your particular craving – and the object of your affection.”

A broad spectrum of transsexuals are writing about their lives and the lives of other transsexuals. Seek them out. They have much to say about their status and experience.