Another not-so-penetrating question

Thursday, March 12, 2009


Do you know how common (or uncommon) it is for men to prefer other sexual activities over intercourse? My partner and I are both in our forties, in a long-term, committed relationship. We are totally compatible in that we both prefer other sexual activities to intercourse (such as manual and oral). My partner always felt intercourse was "overrated." I know many women who feel this way about intercourse, but never heard of other men. Our culture certainly makes it like every guy's goal in life is to penetrate a woman or man! I have tried to find statistics or information on this issue to no avail.



Broadly speaking, sexual statistics are collected for four reasons: to further academic and societal understanding of sexuality, to criminalize sexual behaviour, to catalogue criminal sexual behaviour or to sell pills. To be frank, academics, with so little money allocated towards non-pharmaceutically minded sexual research, have more pressing things to look into than men who prefer going down than sticking it in. Now, if this somehow impacted the sale of a pill, you'd find stats galore, but of course they'd be heavily skewed towards the product's miracle cure.

You've asked a very typical AIN (Am I Normal?) question and if you want a plain answer to that, yes, you are. Though I don't receive a lot of letters about this topic specifically, I do receive ones from men who prefer sniffing stockings over penetration, women who prefer anal over vaginal and on and on. Mercifully, what we are told to like and what we actually like varies in all aspects of our lives.

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