Friday, February 26, 2010


I had sex with a girl who looked really hot and totally normal in the club. Let's call her Scorpio. We connected instantly. Both of us were so hot, we could barely keep our clothes on long enough to get to my place. But when I got her in bed, I found out that she had a really, really big clit. At the time I was all worked up and she was really into it so we had a fantastic time. I even made sure I got her phone number and promised to call her. But now I want to tear it up. I keep thinking about her pussy. Why would somebody's clit look like that? I am 100% hetero. Did I have sex with a dude?


I doubt very much that you had sex with "a dude." A transwoman who had not yet had genital surgery would have a clearly identifiable penis and probably still have her balls as well. Sex reassignment surgery would probably not create an unusual appearance. It would be difficult for a cross-dresser to continue the illusion of femininity, once naked in your bed.

On a different note, I should point out that your language is offensive. A set of xy chromosomes does not define a person's gender identity. Calling a transwoman "a dude" is hurtful. When you encounter differently-gendered people, ask them what pronouns they prefer, and treat them, as much as you can, as a member of the gender they prefer.

That was your lesson in political correctness and postmodern sexual politics for the day. Now let's change the channel back to the issue of your date and her marvelous, glorious, gorgeous, engorged clitoris.

Between 1938 and 1971, some pregnant women were given diethylstilbestrol (DES) to prevent miscarriage. The drug didn't do that, but it did affect their fetuses. DES daughters have enlarged clits and small vaginas. They are at a high risk for certain kinds of cancer. DES sons can also have genital abnormalities and need regular screening for cancer. Is Scorpio old enough to be part of the DES generation?

Your date may have been exposed to an artificial substance, while in the womb, that affected her genitalia. DES is no longer prescribed. I have not been able to locate any reference to drugs that cause a similar effect in younger women. But our polluted environment is full of toxic substances that mimic human hormones. We don't know the side effects of every medication. And individuals can experience hormonal fluctuations that aren't normal. It's possible that this woman's mother had a problem during pregnancy that affected her daughter's development.

There is a medical condition that can cause an enlarged clitoris. It affects both men and women, but does not cause genital abnormalities in boys. Congenital adrenal hyperplasia (CAH) is a genetic problem that interferes with the body's ability to produce cortisone, which we need to deal with stress or injury. It can also interfere with the body's ability to keep salt levels normal. It's estimated that 1 in 10,000 to 18,000 children have CAH. In girls, CAH continues to affect her after birth. It causes masculinization such as a deep voice, male musculature, baldness, etc. People with CAH should be under the care of a doctor, because it can be life-threatening.

It's unlikely your date has CAH if she had a feminine appearance. It's very possible that she has a big clit simply because her mother and grandmother also had large clits. Pussies come in many, many different sizes, shapes, colors, etc. Some women have thin, short labia that lay close to their bodies; others have dangling, sensitive labia you could practically tie a knot in. Clits can vary as much as inner lips. And there are certain advantages to the supersized clit. For one thing, you don't have to wonder where the hell it is when you go down on her or stroke her with your hand. It's right there. And when she gets excited, she can't hide it—her clitoris will be visibly swollen. I like that direct feedback.

You're still going to have to find out how she likes to be touched, or persuade her to touch herself. Big clits can be very sensitive, so you have to just apply pressure to the area around it, or they can respond to direct manipulation. Few women like having the glans (the pearl-shaped head of the clit, located under a fold of tissue, the clitoral hood) touched directly. There are just too many nerve endings there; it's like hitting a raw nerve. You should make sure your fingers are slippery, either with natural juices or some water-based lubrication.

The power of homophobia never fails to amaze me. Here you are, after an evening in which you scored and had a sexual experience that could make a great story. You had a lot of fun. She even wants to see you again. She dresses like a girl, walks and talks and acts like a girl, and she has breasts and a pussy. But the size of her clit is enough to make you panic.

You're a straight man who likes women. If she made your dick get hard, she's a woman. Trust yourself. The only question you should be asking is why you'd turn down a chance to get wicked again with a cute girl who doesn't just lay there and take it.

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