Bad Taste

Friday, August 14, 2009

Question

How do you really use a dental dam? I've read instructions in safer sex materials, but they never seem to play out all too well in the heat of the moment. The dam gets slippery, someone loses their grip, one time I even accidentally inhaled a dam. No matter how careful I am, I always seem to end up with a mouth full of what's supposed to stay on the far side of the latex.

I've been kind of ambivalent about dams as a result, but I love oral sex, and lately many queers in my town have been coming down with particularly nasty herpes inside the mouth after unprotected oral excursions.

Please help! Even a recommendation of a good porno that shows people using a dam in hot realistic sex might help. Those latex dams, unlike pussy, are leaving

Answer

I, too, have never been able to make latex dams work for me. They are too thick, they taste bad even if they are flavored, and they aren't long or wide enough. I prefer to use plastic wrap because I can trim it to any size I want, it's transparent so I can at least look at what I'm licking, and it has a neutral taste. I assume the plastic wrap is safe for contact with pussy or ass, because it comes into contact with food, and it's cheap as well. Having a bigger piece of plastic to hang on to makes all the difference for me. I also like to put a little water-based lube on her inner lips and clit; that seems to heighten sensation.

I find that I need to change my technique when I am using a barrier. I can use firmer strokes with my tongue and maybe even suck on her clit even if she doesn't like that when it's skin-to-skin sex. It takes some patience and experimentation. You have to resign yourself to the fact that certain things (like pussy juice) are missing from the experience. You are trading away something important in exchange for safety. And I personally hate that to pieces. But I do it to be responsible, so that the day after we have sex, neither one of us freaks out about going too far and being at risk of an STD.

Although plastic wrap is widely recommended for use as a barrier during oral sex or rimming, there is little research on its effectiveness as a viral barrier. Do not use the kind that is microwave safe, as it is more permeable. But they do make condoms (for men and women) out of polyurethane. Medical professionals use gloves made out of various plastics or nitrile. I don't know why they don't manufacture some equivalent in a flat sheet that's at least eight inches by ten inches. Seems like a sex phobia is still at work here.

Another alternative to dental dams is to have her wear latex panties. You can put a little lube in the crotch and then lick her from the outside of them. Just be sure you use a lube that DOES NOT contain nonoxynol-9, and also make sure a partner doesn't have a latex allergy. This is a health problem that is occurring with greater frequency as we use more gloves, condoms, etc. made out of latex.

Do any readers know of porn titles that feature dental dams? I need some help compiling that information.

Also, just remember that you can't catch an STD from somebody who is healthy. If you have a steady partner, get tested, have safer sex for six months, then get retested. For everything! If you both have a clean bill of health, it is okay to have unprotected sex with each other and use barriers for any outside adventures. This strategy has worked well to prevent and lower new HIV infections among gay men in Australia.

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