Blue One

Friday, May 19, 2006

Question

I never thought I would have to ask a question about how to use a dildo! But in this case, it's a double-ended dildo, the Nexus Junior. My partner and I tried it, but there's something just not right in how we're doing it, I guess. Do you have instructions?

Answer

Don't feel lame. The double-ended dildo is one of the trickiest sex toys to use. I have yet to run across one that seems properly designed to accommodate the anatomy of two female partners.

Like the Feeldoe, the Nexus Junior is supposed to allow one woman to hold her end of the dildo inside while the other end penetrates her partner. Sometimes these things are marketed as dildos that can be used without a harness. This way, both women can enjoy the feeling of penetration, regardless of who (if anyone) is supposed to be the top or the bottom.

The problem is that it's very difficult to keep both sides of the damn thing in at once. With the Nexus Junior, the only workable position I've seen is for one woman to lay on her back, with the curved dildo inserted and her legs firmly together. (If this doesn't work to keep the dildo in, once she begins to build toward her own orgasm and her vagina starts contracting and pushing against the toy, she may need to put her hand between her legs to keep it in place.) The other woman puts a leg on either side of her and rides the straighter half of the toy. The woman on top gets to control how deeply she gets done, and her movements create a lot of loving feeling for her partner. With any luck, everybody gets to have stars in their eyes, and collapse together in a sweaty pile of satisfied lust.

I know that harnesses can be bulky and get in the way of a romantic fantasy about having a cock that you can use on your girl. Although some harnesses have a pocket that can accommodate a bullet-sized vibrator to titillate the top's clitoral hunger, it can be kinda lonely to be pluggin' away at someone who is moaning and groaning, full of ecstasy and eight inches of silicone, while your own pussy is quite empty. Somebody really needs to invent a harness that can keep one half of Nexus Junior in place. A very simply device would work that had a cock ring to go around the shaft of one of the dildos, with adjustable nylon webbing straps that went around her body, the same way that a jock strap or a G-string would. But a harness with a triangular pad to protect the Venus mound from being bruised by vigorous play is going to get in the way.

If you're talented with rope, you can also create a harness for yourself using a cock ring as a centerpiece. If you don't mind having a dildo inside yourself while you are playing, perhaps you can allow yourself to enjoy a little rope action, hmmm?

The Feeldoe and the Nexus Junior are both big improvements over the old kind of double dildo which was a long shaft with a cock head at either end. Those things had to be employed with complex leg positions that resembled fitting two open pairs of scissors together. And surely qualified anybody who could get into that position and keep it long enough to have an orgasm to admittance to an advanced level of Tantric Heaven.

Cease shame-spiraling downward. It isn't you. It's the toy—and anatomy. Grrrr.