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Friday, January 09, 2009


My boyfriend is turning me on to anal sex. He's really good at it so I am keeping an open mind. But how do I, well, you know, keep it clean down there? I find myself worrying about hygiene when I would rather be focused on relaxing and enjoying being together. Give me the


Too bad you didn't say you are experimenting with spanking, because a pun like that certainly deserves one. But let's confine this response to the issue that you raised. I'm sure somebody else will be having conniptions about corporal punishment, and I'll hear from them soon enough.

You may not have to do anything to keep anal sex poop free. (I assume that's what you mean by "hygiene.") Everybody's body works a little differently. If you have had a good, complete bowel movement earlier in the day, the lower portion of your colon (known as the rectum) is probably empty. The average sized penis is not going to encounter any fecal matter. Besides, I assume you are having him wear a condom. This will keep potentially harmful bacteria and other microorganisms out of his urethra. The channel that emits urine is only a few cells thick, and is a potential channel for infection, just like other mucous membranes like the throat, vagina, or rectum. It will also protect you from some of the more common sexually transmitted infections.

If you have multiple bowel movements every day, or if your habits are irregular, you may not be able to depend on having a clean rectum. If that's true, perhaps you need a small enema (and I do mean small—i.e., a pint of plain, tepid water). Don't use the commercial enema preparations they sell in the drugstores. These contain irritation chemicals that will cause cramping. Enemas don't have to be uncomfortable. The same pharmacy will sell a hot water bottle that also has tubing and nozzles for both douching and enemas. (The enema nozzle is slender and narrow. Also—don't use this equipment for both vaginal douching and rectal enemas. Don't risk introducing potentially harmful germies into the vagina. Keep it for one orifice.)

Get on all fours or lay on your side. Have your partner lubricate and insert the nozzle after filling the enema bag with water that is neither hot nor cold. There's a clip that goes on the hose to keep the water from leaving the bag until it's released. He should let only a little bit of water out. Undo the clip, but keep pressure on the hose with thumb and forefingers. Filling the rectum slowly is one way to keep cramping to a minimum. You'll probably need to stop pretty soon so you can use the toilet. Go ahead and let the water out. Then walk around the house, do some deep-knee bends, and see if you need to visit the porcelain perch a second time to release all of the water.Give yourself at least a half an hour between the enema and sex to make sure that any water that worked its way up past the bend in your colon has time to give in to gravity and get expelled. A sudden shower of enema water in the middle of sex is even less exciting than the experience you took it to prevent.

One reason you want to keep the enema as small as possible is that it's a bad idea to repeatedly wash away the natural lubrication that lines the rectum. Be sure to take some acidophilus to replace the good bacteria you've flushed out. Drink some extra water too. Enemas can be dehydrating. People can become dependent on enemas if they take heavy-duty, frequent colon cleansings. But a small internal bath like this is safe to do a few times a week. Just pay attention to your system. If you notice that you are having trouble evacuating on your own, cut back on the number or intensity of the enemas.

It can also be helpful to avoid eating food that irritates your gut. Take some fiber. This will calm down your insides and make penetration feel better.

The man problem with anal sex is that it requires us to reverse our usual habits. The feeling of having a full rectum is usually a signal to push down and empty it. But in order to enjoy anal sex, you need to be able to relax and enjoy that sensation. It helps to have a considerate, gentle, and patient lover who will give you time to learn these new habits. It's worth it. The anus and rectum are very sensitive, and all of those nerve endings can transmit a lot of pleasure if they are properly stimulated.

I hope this helps you and your partner to have more fun with this new erotic adventure.

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