Exsqueeze Me

Monday, July 18, 2011


I saw your answer to the man who has a tight foreskin and who described his masturbation technique, and I think you could give him a better answer if you read this article by Michel Beaugé.


 I believe his tight foreskin is a result of his masturbation habit, which has never challenged his foreskin to retract, and that modifying his technique as Beaugé describes will help him develop retractability and lessen the hypersensitivity of his never exposed glans.

The style of masturbation your reader describes is famous for causing problems for typical heterosexual coupling. If he would like to be able to enjoy the latter more, he should probably stop humping furniture. What he describes is called Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome, which you can learn more about here: healthystrokes.com.


Yes, it seems that I fumbled those balls more than once, didn’t I? I’m telling you, readers, that is simply the last time I organize a march and a huge cabaret show all in one weekend and then become deathly ill. I was at my psychiatrist’s on Tuesday yelling, “I am not going back to Amsterdam! I am not going back there ever again!” which is my way of saying, “I want all the Lorazepam you can legally prescribe.”

Thank you, Sarah, for being a vigilant and bro boner assistant in these frenzied times. Michel Beaugé’s article is excellent. For readers who don’t have time to go through it, here is a particularly interesting quote:

“The study of observed cases reveals that adolescent or young adult subjects suffering from phimosis have habits of masturbation different from others. Conventionally the pursuit of solitary pleasure is done with the dominant hand closed over the penis making alternate back and forth movement over the shaft, the hand going down towards the pubis, uncovering the glans which the index finger or thumb may now and then stroke lightly, reproducing the sensation of intercourse. This exercise results in moving the penile skin in the same way as will occur in vaginal intercourse, and therefore it is a preparation for adult sexual relations. We shall see later that this training is not only mechanical, but also participates in the psychological development of the individual.”

In other words masturbation is not only deeply pleasurable it’s also extremely useful.

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