I Am Curious (Straight)

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Question

I am a 47 year-old male, and I like to use dildos and other things to stimulate my anus four or five times a week. I really enjoy it, but lately I have been using not only body cream to lubricate the tools, but sometimes shampoo (for babies) or soap. Is it dangerous to use those kinds of liquids?

Sometimes I think I want some dick, because a penis has to be more comfortable than a piece of rubber or a carrot. But due to the fact that I don’t like men – I have a girlfriend – maybe the solution is a she-male.

I watched some videos, and they made me so hot. In reality, are they available to give and to receive, too? Am I gay? Bisexual? Or a curious straight male?

Answer

You don’t need me to classify and referee your orientation. You’ve done a perfectly good job of it yourself. You are Me.

In her book Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman On Sexism And The Scapegoating Of Femininity, Julia Serano writes, “Once I accepted my own transsexuality, then it became obvious to me that the question ‘Why do transsexuals exist?’ is not a matter of pure curiosity but rather an act of non-acceptance, as it invariably occurs in the absence of asking the reciprocal question: Why do cissexuals exist?”

I disagree with this to some extent, in that I do wonder why cissexuals exist (humans in general, really) but it’s a good point. You are judging yourself by a paradigm that assumes it is the natural and superior standard and that everything that deviates or strays from it requires justification.

Why do you have to define your orientation? And why, when you use the terms “gay” and “bisexual,” do they require no qualifying adjectives but “straight” does? You are you; you are curious.

Eventually, I realized that dwelling on ‘why’ was a pointless endeavour,” writes Sernano. “The fact is that I am transsexual and I exist, and there is no legitimate reason why I should feel inferior to a cissexual because of that.”

Yes, Me, there are she-males who like to give and receive, but as a caveat, this is a label used primarily by transsexual women in the sex trade. Just about all women, from the infinite possibilities that define this gender, highlight their “exoticism” when selling sex, generally in ways that would be considered offensive outside of this context.

So then, shampoo or soap in your bum. Not such a good idea. Your rectum is made of tissue that likes to stay moist. Shampoo and soap, despite their promises to moisturize, do not do so in the manner required of this area.

Store-bought lubricant, both water based and silicone, are two fine options. Most culinary or massage oils are fine as well, depending on the circumstances. Go to loveden.ca/toy-care.cfm for toy care and suitable lubricants.

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