Jailbait

Friday, April 08, 2011

Question

My fantasy is long-term confinement. I want to be locked up in a small space for a few days. It doesn't have to be a jail cell, although that would be ideal. A secure walk-in closet or a shed would also be fine. As long as the walls are sound proof and I absolutely can't get out. I want to have to depend on somebody else to bring me food and water. I also want to be disciplined and “raped,” i.e., receive convincing rough sex from my jailer. I especially like giving head through the bars or getting fucked with my ass pressed against them. The feel of cold iron holding the cheeks of my ass apart—it turns me on just to type that sentence.

How do you tell if someone is trustworthy enough to do this? I have answered an ad, and the guy sounds perfect. He lives in another state, but I don't mind traveling. There's a three-day weekend coming up. But I would mind not showing up for work once I've served my “sentence.” 

When I think about it, I'm not sure why anybody would let me go. If you enjoy keeping people in captivity, once you've got them helpless, why release them? So far this has scared me so much that I haven't tried to go all the way. I've spent an hour or two in the cages of friends or paid professionals. But I feel this drive to see if I can really take it, to find out if I am strong enough to earn the right to have these fantasies. 

What should I do? Ask for references? Any advice is welcome.

 

Answer

A reference? I think you ought to get a stack of them thicker than the phone book. If he has played with guys who feel that he is safe, he ought to be able to give you one or two (or more!) phone numbers or email addresses of men who can describe their experiences to you. 

A reliable top for such a heavy scene will understand that you need safeguards. If you can't feel secure in the boundaries of the scene, being locked up won't give you the experience you desire. You'll be too busy being anxious about whether you'll be able to leave when you want to leave. (Though I do understand a smidgen of this anxiety can make your dick get very hard.) 

There are many ways to set up such a system. One would be to request a copy of his legal ID and the address where you will be kept. Get permission to share this information with a friend. The friend ought to come to the area with you and wait for your call. You should be allowed to make three calls. One is to tell your spotter that you have arrived and you feel comfortable with the situation. You've met the top, you've seen where you're going to be kept, and you want to continue the scene. Make sure to have a signal that will tell your helper things are not okay, no matter how happy you might sound. Calling him a name other than the right one could work. Your second phone call should be shortly after captivity, to confirm that you are being kept at the address the spotter has on record. Your captor could still take you someplace else, but that would be a lot of trouble, unless they are truly dangerous. The third call is made after release to tell your spotter where to pick you up.You will need some help after this experience. I wouldn't recommend that you drive. Don't make your assistant vulnerable to being kidnapped. Once you are alone, get a cab to a destination that you and your spotter have already picked out. This destination should be unknown to the master. 

Pretend you are a secret agent and get devious. I'm sure you can come up with other ideas. Jay Wiseman is a strong advocate of such safeguards and describes them in SM 101: A Realistic Introduction (Greenery Press). This is one of the texts I recommend for anyone interested in dominant/submissive roleplaying, restraint, erotic pain, or any of the other trips that fall under the heading of BDSM. Wiseman is a long-time member of our scene and cares a great deal about people being able to have intense experiences that they live to enjoy another day. I don't agree with everything he says, but when does that ever happen? You can find out more about Wiseman's work at his website, http://www.jaywiseman.com. The writings of Guy Baldwin, Race Bannon, and Joseph Kramer are also foundation texts that are on my personal required reading list for submissives in training.

Believe it or not, keeping somebody captive is a lot of work. Preparing their food, dealing with their waste (or making them do it), supervising their well-being—all of this takes quite a lot of a person's bandwidth. If the top is also going to provide sadomasochistic play or sex, he is expending even more energy. By the time the scene is over, he will probably need rest and recuperation as much as you do. 

That being said, there are a few people out there who prey on the BDSM community when they want victims for nonconsensual activities. You don't want to wind up buried in somebody's basement. Talking to a top can often give you a real sense of who he is. You want someone who is rational and even-tempered, not self-centered or delusional. The jailer should realize this is a fantasy. He will strive to make it as real as possible while holding on to the knowledge that your captivity is a temporary experience. You are not literally his property. 

The problem is that sociopaths are remarkably good at camouflage. They look, sound, and live much like everybody else. If they aren't good at hiding, they get apprehended at an early age. The successful sociopath is adept at lying to everyone around him or her. They keep a secret life for the forbidden activities that provide meaning for their existence. It takes a lot of experience to spot a sociopath in one conversation, and even trained professionals can and have been fooled. This is why talking to references and having accountability is essential. The guy that you meet who seems strong, intelligent, sexy, and safe could also be completely wacked out behind that facade. If you are not making your safety calls on time, the police should be called pronto. A bust like this is embarrassing, but it's better than being dead or disappearing permanently to become the miserable, endangered plaything of a person who has no limits and no conscience.