A Long Distance By Foot

Friday, April 16, 2010

Question

I'm in a long-distance relationship with a med student from London, England. I am a sexually open woman, and he's a mostly straight man. We both have a foot fetish, and a D/S relationship. I'm dominant, but it's getting difficult to come up with requests that he can carry out throughout his day. He's not here, so I can't force him to suck my toe per se. Do you have any ideas on how to incorporate some foot fetishism and D/S into an LDR?

Foot Domme

Answer

LDRs, no matter what proclivities are being stoked across prairies, mountains, highways or oceans, require a great deal of creativity and patience. And believe it or not, this is the best thing about them. You're obliged to acknowledge and live what every relationship needs to flourish: variety, attention and resourcefulness.

Because you can't just stick it in, you must, with the modern advantage of technology, do things up old-school with letters, packages, Skype sex and trip planning. When you always have a lover underfoot, these exciting and creative gestures tend to fall by the wayside in favour of the more obvious ones.

You imply that your relationship isn't entirely monogamous, nor is your partner only heterosexual. If I'm correct in assuming this, then how about sending him off to a bathhouse with strict instructions not to leave until he's worshipped a few pairs of feet and provided you with all the details? Open the rules of engagement in this regard. Explore your abilities as an erotic writer, a photographer, a pornographer. Go pick up a coral hanky (the symbol for shrimping in the hanky code universe) and wrap a few enticing Polaroids in it. Make him wear the hanky at work. Send him a pair of shoes you've been wearing to suck on.

Acknowledge that the distance is part of the relationship rather than a space that has to be filled between visits. Be present with your lover in these moments, as present as you would be if you were face to face. Just because you can't touch doesn't mean you can't feel.

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