Love Bits

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Answer

I received some great response over the recent column "Too drunk to fuck" (July 9) about a disheartened 28-year-old virgin looking for advice. "Gray," who is a member of an internet support group (www.incel.myonlineplace.org/forum) for involuntarily celibate people or "incels" writes: "There are more incels than anyone thinks out there, both virgins and non-virgins. There are virgins into their fifties, and plenty of virgins in their mid- to late thirties. Some folks have had sex before but haven't been able to organize it for many years. Depression and low self-esteem are prevalent with incels, and, unfortunately, resentment and pent-up anger is too common.""A common theory is that many incels missed developmental stages when people learn about finding and getting a partner," says Gray. "The process isn't instinctive for many people." A scholarly paper on the topic can be found at www.tinyurl.com/incel and www.involuntarycelibacy.com offers an ongoing video project.

Frustrated with a capital F

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