Nervous Newlywed

Friday, May 05, 2006

Question

On our first night, my wife says it's very painful for her whenever I finger her vagina or try intercourse. Is it due to first-time blues (she is a virgin), or is it due to some other problem? Is pain normal when a woman has sex for the first time?

Answer

Some, perhaps most, women are born with a membrane called the hymen that partially blocks the vaginal opening. This membrane varies a great deal in strength. In some women, it is so fragile that it presents virtually no challenge during the first act of intercourse. For others, there may be significant pain and even some bleeding. A few women require medical help to remove this obstruction so they can enjoy intercourse.

But having you stroke her vulva (the external parts of her sexual organs) shouldn't cause her any pain. I'm not sure if your wife is hurting from that, or from digital penetration. But let's check out some common problems that men have when they try to pleasure women with their hands, and see if there's some helpful information there.

It's called "a pussy" for a reason: Think about how you would touch a very little, fragile kitten. Your average guy requires a fairly firm grip on his penis to experience manual pleasure. But she has the same number of nerve endings that you have on the head of your penis

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