Dear Patrick: I like oral sex but my BF’s come tastes really, really bad. This has not been a problem when I have been with other guys. What can we do about this? He says I am not the only person who has complained about it. He doesn’t have B.O. or bad breath. In fact, the rest of his body smells great to me. So why does his come taste like something rotten?
A few guys seem to be damned unlucky this regard. I can recommend a few things that the two of you can check out, but be prepared for this to be a bit of a quest. There may not be a quick and easy solution.
The first thing to try is a trip to a urologist. He needs a complete physical workup. Make sure that this problem is not being caused by an undiagnosed, untreated STI or some other medical problem that a doctor can fix. Unfortunately, there are several issues men can have that are usually diagnosed via their female partner. For example, trichomoniasis causes a pretty vile vaginal infection. If a woman who has sex with a regular male partner gets diagnosed with this, both she and her boyfriend need to be treated. If they are not, she will probably get re-infected. The microorganism that causes trich can apparently flourish in the vagina and the male urinary tract. Nobody knows what effect it might have on semen, but it can’t do a guy any favors.
If you feel that his doctor is not taking this issue seriously, don’t be afraid to seek out a second opinion. You need a clinician who has compassion and curiosity, somebody who is willing to think outside the box and keep looking for a solution. Search out a physician who reads their medical journals, consults with colleagues, and uses the Internet instead of just writing prescriptions for whatever the pharmaceutical reps are pushing this month. You may have to do some education. Proceed gently, as most doctors believe they already know everything that is important to know. A polite statement that oral sex is as important as intercourse, and you miss being able to bond with him this way, might be enough to get your point across.
If Western medicine can’t improve the situation, it’s time to branch out and look at other potential causes. Maybe his individual body chemistry reacts poorly with something in his diet. Asparagus is a well-known culprit for causing pungent urine, but it also has a negative impact on many guys’ cum. Little else is known about the relationship between food and the taste of sexual secretions. Is this a food allergy? Does such a thing exist? Getting tested for food allergies can be expensive, and its efficacy is untested, so unless you are well-to-do, proceed with caution. It may make more sense to simply give up one food at a time for four to six weeks and keep track of what happens. Anything he does to get more in touch with his body and become a healthier person is a good thing, even if his cum continues to be rancid.
Solid food may not be the only culprit. Is he drinking ten cups of coffee a day? That might be the problem. Check out any medications he takes regularly, including over-the-counter stuff, and personal care products like shampoo, soap, shaving cream, and deodorant. The stuff you put on your skin winds up in your bloodstream, and from there it filters through your whole body. Does he wear loose fitting, cotton underwear? The bad smell and taste may seem like it is coming from his ejaculate, but the crotch is vulnerable to skin infections (yeast or staph) that can also smell or taste bad. Polyester and tight underwear will make those problems worse.
Just remember to change only one thing at a time. Otherwise, you’ll never be sure exactly what is making the problem better or worse or about the same. If you don’t already know how to use a spread sheet, you probably will by the time you are done with your quest.
If you can enjoy oral sex with him minus the grand finale, the two of you can probably continue to have a good sex life that includes pleasures other than intercourse. He’s going to have to learn how to recognize that moment of ejaculatory inevitability, though, so he doesn’t lose control and make your eyes water and your stomach heave. (I’m referring to the point in his sexual response cycle at which any further stimulation will make him ejaculate.) Rolling on a condom to contain the problematic jizz only takes a second, and will make a happy ending a happy occasion for both of you.
Anecdotal data would have it that guys with bad-tasting cum tend to give their girlfriends more than the usual number of cases of vaginitis. There’s no research to back this up, but if it does seem to be a problem, you may need to use condoms. Since regular use of latex condoms can cause allergies, you might want to try out a variety of catchment systems. The admittedly expensive female condom is often free at family planning clinics, and there male condoms that are not made out of latex can be found on-line or at any large drugstore.