Sit Down Already!

Friday, December 24, 2010

Question

My new boyfriend has a Prince Albert piercing that runs through his urethra. In the beginning, we had some trouble finding condoms that would not break but we have found a sturdier brand now so we can enjoy protected sex. Is the cervix an erogenous zone? I really enjoy the way the ring feels inside of me, especially when he is all the way inside and it presses on my cervix.

The reason I am writing is not about sex, I guess, but more about hygiene. Because he has a ring in his urethra, he doesn't urinate normally. Instead of a single stream, he releases a spray that goes in every direction. I have told him that I want him to sit down to piss so that the toilet isn't covered with urine. He says that women sit down, and he is not a woman.

Cleaning up after him is making me gag. Why can't he understand this and take care of it? There's a limit to what air fresheners can cover up.

Answer

 Oh, for heaven's sake. Do you have a boyfriend or a big baby? The expectation that he should be able to piss all over the bathroom is disgusting. So is the idea that somebody else is going to clean up his mess. Unfortunately, these notions are widespread among men-born-men. I have exactly one biomale friend who sits down to pee.

Your lover dude is going to have to decide which is more emasculating: sitting down to piss, or cleaning the bathroom. And you are going to have to be fierce about enforcing these rules. He won't give in easily. You might give him the "hint” that a urine-splattered bathroom is such a big turn-off for you that it just kills your libido.

Can he piss normally if he takes the ring out? If so, maybe new jewelry that can be removed and reinserted would save your affair from being pissed away.

p.s. Yes, the cervix is an erogenous zone for some women. While some report discomfort when the cervix is jostled, others enjoy slight to firm pressure. This is one reason why some women insist on keeping the cervix if they need a hysterectomy. If this choice ever faces you, just remember that you'll still have to go in and get Pap smears. But keep your cervix as long as you can. The clitoris and vagina need as much help from other sexy bits as they can get, whether it's the G spot or the lovable, spongy pink doughnut that is the public face of the uterus.

Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.