Sleeping On the Floor

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Question

How do I get my ex to move out? A few months ago she confessed that she was having affairs. I decided to end the relationship and started sleeping in my home office. Out of spite, I placed a personal ad, and much to my surprise I've fallen in love with a woman living in a different province. We've met and become lovers, but have only seen each other once because of the distances involved.

My new girlfriend would love to come for an extended visit, but won't until she can stay alone with me. Because I'm a student and my ex was supporting me, I haven't the money to move out. My ex is seeing at least three men, and recently asked if she could have them drop by for sex while I was at school. I refused and again asked her to leave.

My ex is the one who had the affairs, and she has the financial capacity to leave, yet she wants to stay -because she feels an emotional attachment to the apartment. But not to me, apparently. I am claiming the moral high ground here because I was lied to and have always been honest with my ex, even when it comes to the situation with my new girlfriend. What am I to do?

Answer

Your ex girlfriend is a selfish jerk. What this means is that there is no negotiating with her. This also means that any attachment you have to her, be it emotional or financial, needs to be cut. Yes, this all sucks, and you can moan about it as much as you want, e.g. "Then she did this" and "To top it all off...," but that's not going to help you get closer to this other woman.

Having a good "Can you believe this bitch/bastard" story is par for the course when it comes to relationships, but you can stop being the ethical loser right now. Grow some nards, get a job and move it along.