Soon to Be an Ex-Virgin

Friday, April 20, 2007


Is there any way to fake experience? I am a 21-year-old single, straight, female virgin, interested in having a "discreet intimate encounter." But I don't want to come across as a stumbling, naïve kid. I haven't had much experience (obviously) with guys or playing around with myself. I'm comfortable with my body, but I don't really have any idea what to do. When/if the opportunity arises, is there any way that I can pass myself off as knowing more than I do? I'm not interested in keeping my v-card around for anything special, but I also don't want it to get in the way of some fun.


Virginity is pretty special. Your first time is only going to happen once. Instead of worrying about how to fake experience, you could be looking for someone who is turned on by your status as a novice, and excited about initiating you. Does that seem like way too much attention? It's really not. You deserve a smooth introduction to sexual possibilities. Some women have a desire to just get it over with and lose their virginity so they can feel like everybody else. But is there really anything positive about that approach? For one thing, the first time you have intercourse, it may be painful. If your hymen is intact, it will take some effort to break it, and you may bleed. Don't you want a caring partner who can hold you and tell you how brave you are, rather than an oaf who is oblivious to your pain?

I understand that you don't want to seem clumsy. The first time somebody tries any sex act, however, it's going to take some experimentation to figure out: (a) how your partner likes it, (b) how to do it that way, and (c) do you like it? "I've never done that before, but I want to. Will you show me how?" is a terribly exciting thing to hear, in my opinion. Unfortunately, many men have poor technique and would be completely easy for you to fool. This kind of guy would be happy as long as you are on your back with your legs spread. He won't give you whole-body attention or find out how your clitoris likes to be stimulated. I encourage you to look for someone who is more sophisticated, a man who really loves women's bodies.

Read a comprehensive sex manual like The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex. If you can find Candida Royalle's films, they are explicit and made from a woman's point of view. I don't want to recommend generic X-rated porn because it's often focused way too much on cock and a sort of piggy male sexuality that's selfish and harsh. Hopefully you will be with a better caliber of partner who won't perceive you as an orifice alone. Create a good memory for yourself. You deserve it.

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