Friday, May 12, 2006


I recently discovered that my partner was having trouble maintaining erections during coitus. He requires a massive amount of pressure on his penis for it to become fully erect and stay that way. I have a very strong manual grip, and I gave him all I had. Only then did his body react. Although I'm the "Queen of Kegels," there's no way I'm giving him enough pressure with vaginal muscles alone. My question is: Can you recommend a product or technique that could give my partner the pressure he needs during intercourse?


Let me explain to our other readers that Kegels are exercises women can do to strengthen the pubococcygeous (PC) muscle that supports the pelvic floor. This is the same muscle you use to stop a stream of urine. There are a few different kinds of Kegels, such as contracting the muscle very quickly, or holding a squeeze for a certain amount of time. Kegels may increase the strength of a woman's orgasm, and they make waiting through a red light a lot more fun. However, you may be quite horny by the time you reach your destination!

I'm not sure if this man is a long-term partner, or if he's a recent addition to your sex life. If you have been making love together for a long time, and his sexual response pattern has radically changed, he needs a medical evaluation. There could be problems with his blood pressure, diabetes, or side-effects from medication. It's also common for men to need more pressure to get or keep an erection when they get older. They need some manual or oral stimulation to be ready for intercourse, and may not be as hard during coitus as they once were. It can help to take a break from intercourse and use hand or mouth to get his cock back into fucking trim. But that may also be frustrating for the female partner, if she relies on long sessions of penetration to achieve her own satisfaction. Hands or toys are helpful accessories in that case. We all have to be willing to adapt to our bodies' changing abilities and challenges so we can continue to enjoy sex for the entire life span.

The penis contains two long, spongy chambers that gradually fill up with blood to create an erection. Physical, visual, and emotional stimulation all play a part in setting that process in motion. Although most men like a fairly firm grip, your guy has unusual needs. I'm not sure if this is just what he's used to, or if it's a biological necessity. Some young boys learn that they have to masturbate quickly in order to escape detection. So they learn to beat off in a hurry, and sometimes handle their cocks roughly. If this is your partner's situation, he may need to slow down and gradually accustom himself to a little gentler treatment. We don't want to damage those spongy chambers with too much pressure! He might be better off seeking some pharmaceutical assistance for erectile dysfunction. There's no shame in taking Viagra or Cialis or any of their cousins.

If the doctor says he is physically okay, we can proceed with the assumption that perhaps this is just how he is wired, and it isn't going to change. He could try keeping his hand around his own cock during intercourse. As he withdraws, he can give his own equipment the big squeeze, to keep it firm. He can also take a break from intercourse to get a few minutes of the kind of manual pressure that he likes before he goes back to fucking.

A cock ring might enhance the feeling of pressure-from-within on his cock. This is a ring that fits around the base of the cock and balls which prevents blood from leaving an erection. It makes the veins on the cock stand out quite a bit, and is a feeling that some men enjoy. Cock rings can be made out of anything from metal to wood and plastic or leather. I suggest you avoid the metal rings unless you have enough experience with them to know exactly what size will go around his business while it's flaccid

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