Submissive Pee Problems

Friday, April 21, 2017

Dear Patrick: Is it okay for a dominate to demand that their submissive urinate on cue? My Master really wants me to let it go into His cupped hands. But I am very tinkle-shy and cannot produce. Then He is disappointed and I get punished. Is this fair? I have never had a lover demand this before. I am having trouble seeing this as a submissive act. Urinating on any part of my dominate’s body seems disrespectful to me.

-Lifestyle Submissive

 

Dear Lifestyle Submissive: I usually don’t quibble about my correspondents’ grammar or spelling. But I can’t resist giving you a wee head’s up that the term for a top in a dominant/submissive relationship is “dominant.” The word “dominate” is a verb, as in, “He dominated the competition.”

I feel less ambivalent pointing out that if you are genuine about being deeply submissive, you don’t quibble about what your top asks or orders you to do, provided it is safe and within the framework of your limits. Dominants will sometimes play games with their submissives’ heads by asking them to perform erotic tasks that are confusing, difficult, or upsetting. This is the emotional equivalent of giving you a good, hard spanking that takes you right to the edge of using your safe word. You are absolutely right that pissing on someone is usually done by the top, but this could be exactly the point that your top is trying to make. By obeying him in this matter and doing what he asks, even though it is unconventional, you may please him more than you would have by doing something more stereotypically submissive like polishing his boots.

It’s your decision. If you really don’t want to do this, you don’t have to. Simple as that. Kinky sex is about mutual pleasure. So if you will derive no arousal from obeying this order, you can attempt to renegotiate your limits. If you never discussed watersports (erotic play with urine) with your top, you might want to point that out and ask if the two of you can have a conversation to update that topic. If it never occurred to you that agreeing to watersports might involve you being asked to urinate on someone else, a request for a new conversation about this type of play is still valid.

If you decide that you want to be a good (adult) girl and do as you are told, you are going to need to become considerably less shy about imitating a fountain. I suggest you experiment with taking a leak in unconventional places or positions. I mention positions because, for some people, urinating in any position other than the one they learned during toilet training is not easy. Please try to guarantee your own safety and the privacy of others while you conduct these experiments. If you become successful at that task, you can try imagining that someone is watching you while you let go of the flow. I think this sort of de-sensitization or dress rehearsal might help a great deal.

Remember that urine is essentially a sterile fluid. Most sexually-transmitted diseases cannot be transmitted by urinating on someone else’s healthy skin.

Your master sounds like a creative sort. I hope you get to enjoy him for a good long while to come.