Thumbelina

Friday, November 13, 2009

Question

My boyfriend has a very large penis (almost eleven inches long and quite thick). I am petite in every way and am having difficulty enjoying full-on sex as his cock keeps banging against my cervix, which hurts. We have tried, I think, every position, but do you have any ideas to help us so he can thrust freely without me getting hurt? Thank you!

Answer

You may have already tried everything I can suggest. But let me throw out a couple of ideas.

One problem women often have is the male myth that when a girl starts to lubricate, she is ready to get fucked. This is an improvement on the 1950s belief that women don't enjoy sex anyway, and if you give her any time, she might change her mind, so get that erection into her as quickly as possible, and ignore whatever she has to say until you come. Then you can apologize, feel guilty, and worry about whether you got her pregnant, because God forbid you use a condom.

But it isn't in tune with the way that women's bodies really work. Lubrication is a sign that she's in the first phase of the sexual response cycle. Her body is just barely starting to get aroused. She needs more clitoral stimulation, and more of every kind of erotic touch, to progress toward a higher state of arousal and, eventually, orgasm. So it's time to fondle her breasts, bite her neck, go down on her, stroke her clit with your finger, put a small toy or one finger inside of her, and talk about how much you desire her.

Every woman is different, but I would estimate that you need at least twenty minutes of that before certain internal changes take place that make the vagina longer. Her cervix is going to move up, creating an extra pouch or playground at the entrance to the womb. That's when it's time to slide the penis in, a little at a time, carefully gauging how much of it she can take.

A further issue is whether the cervix is an erogenous zone or not. Some women enjoy having the cervix gently moved or prodded. Pressure on the cervix feels really good. But for some women, it's just an annoying jolt, or crosses the line into outright pain.

However, there are certain limits to what is physically possible. His cock may simply be too darn big for him to be able to fuck you without being a little careful. There's nothing in the Constitution that guarantees a guy the right to bury his dick up to his balls in every woman he beds. Frankly, it doesn't change the sensation a whole lot if you wrap your hand around the base of your cock and only put it in up to your hand. You can jerk your dick off while you are fucking your sweetie, and that feels pretty darned awesome. It's especially hot if she will let you talk about what you are doing and she gets all dizzy and silly because she wants more and more of your cock.

Teasing girls often helps to open them up. Every time he fucks you and hurts you, it sends your vagina a message that sex with him is going to be painful. So you are holding tension in your body, anticipating that he will be disappointed and you will be saying "ouch" when you want to be saying "don't stop, more, more, more!"

Giving you less of his cock, and teasing you about it, yet making you come, and making himself come, could be an enjoyable bedroom game. And if you get fucked enough times without being hurt, I am betting that you will find yourself getting deeper. You may never be able to perform like a porn star with him, but that's not your fault.