Too Wet

Friday, July 07, 2006

Question

I'm a sexually charged, health university student and I am proud of my body and my strongly sexed self. However, I am finding sex to be increasingly dissatisfying due to the large quantity of vaginal fluid that I produce when aroused. I feel little sensation in my vagina. This has been true for as long as I can remember. If the penetration is hard and fast, it feels great. But I can't feel the ribbing on condoms, even the "Ultra Ribbed" variety. My boyfriend's penis is small and not particularly thick, which does not help the situation. What can I do to ensure more sensation?

Answer

You are not the first woman who has told me that being too wet dulls the lovely potential pleasure of sex. This can be true of clitoral masturbation as well as penetration. Sometimes it's a good idea to get a towel out and dab away to remove the extra fluid. (Towels are an important adjunct of sex anyway. A large one should be gotten out when sex is imminent to go under your tushie, so there is no large cold wet spot to sleep upon when orgasms have left the stage and Morpheus takes over. A smaller one is also nice for wiping hands and sex organs and such.)

However, I'm not sure if the lubrication should be blamed for lack of vaginal sensitivity. Very few women can feel the ribbing on condoms. It's just not pronounced enough. Those things are mostly a visual turn-on or a mental placebo. The vagina has fewer nerve endings than the penis, according to the anatomical sources I've been able to dig up. I'm not sure I believe this. The same sources claim the vagina is not able to feel pain, and that is bunkum. But I do know that the vagina is sensitive to pressure above all else. If you have your fingers in a lovely lass and nudge her cervix a bit or put direct pressure on the roof of the vagina (G-spot), she'll feel it, but those little ridges on a condom are like making speed bumps on our roads out of Jell-O. Or in Canada do you say making sleeping policemen out of treacle?

I know the politically correct thing to tell a guy with a small penis is that size doesn't matter. But it does, doesn't it? Sex with a guy who has the average or less-than-average endowment can still be nice, especially if he knows how to use his hands and mouth, and you love him. But. There's no substitute for a big thick dick if you like hard, vigorous pounding.

What's the solution? Well, I think your boyfriend needs to understand that you like to come with something large inside of you. He needs to go out and buy you some lovely thick dildos that will stir up an internal tornado. Or he needs to learn how to get most of or all of his hand inside of you and give you a vigorous stirring internal massage. After you've gotten off a few times, I bet intercourse with him would be a lovely finale.

In order to do this, he has to be a fairly secure guy who can take a realistic look at his assets and his liabilities, and grow beyond the idea that all he has to do to be good in bed is stick his penis in your muff. But let's spread the joy around. A guy with a big dick is faced with the same existential erotic challenge. There are lots of women and guys who don't want to get fucked with a XXX-size sausage. I suppose we could extend the metaphor to women as well.

Each of us has got a certain number of skills in our Let's Spend the Night Together Toolboxes. A good blowjob is as important as a toothbrush. The best lovers are people who continue to be curious about sex even though they've learned the basics. They're always willing to try something new and see if they can become proficient at it.

If your boyfriend isn't able to cross the line into toy world, well, get some large silicone or latex cocks of your own and enjoy playing with them when you masturbate. You can have one kind of sexual experience when you are on your own, and another when you are with him. Neither one has to be better than the other. Maybe, or probably, you can be happy if your life includes both of those kinds of sex.

There's nothing I know of that will reduce the amount of lubrication you secrete other than reshuffling your hormones. Menopause may ring some changes on the waterfall that is your lovely pussy. You are an unusually rich source of communion with the archetypal goddess energy that radiates from the vulva. I ask you, can there be too much wine at communion? No priest with any common sense would answer yes.