Vibrator Virgin

Friday, August 25, 2006

Question

I am a 22-year-old woman and still technically a virgin. I was wondering if it is safe for me to use a vibrator as I am not terribly adept at unassisted self-stimulation. Thanks!

Answer

Vibrators are not very dangerous, with a few exceptions. If you immerse one that's not made for a wet environment in water, you risk electrical shock. Also, you can bruise or burn your genitals if you use a vibrator with too much force. The more powerful vibrators have the potential to make your clitoris and other tissues like the external and internal labia go numb. Since a person feels somewhat cranked-up and eager to come in this situation, the temptation is to press harder instead of turning the thing off and taking a break while blood flow and sensation are restored.

If going numb is a problem for you, remember that you can use a vibrator on top of a folded up towel or your clothing or undergarments. Take a more leisurely approach to self-pleasure. And don't forget to use your own hands or fingers. Alternating the vibrator with manual stimulation is a nice way to keep yourself fully responsive and unbruised.

Vibrators that are used for penetration carry a different sent of risks. Buying your first toy for penetration is difficult because who knows what size to get? If virginity is important to you, of course, you may not want to include penetration in your masturbation activities, because you are taking the chance that you'll break your hymen. This membrane just inside the vaginal opening varies a lot in size and strength. Some women can't even use a tampon until it's broken; others barely notice any pain or blood when they first experience intercourse.

I always advise first-time shoppers to err on the side of caution with a toy that will be used for penetration. Something smaller can always be enjoyable, whereas a larger toy may not be pleasurable unless you are very, very aroused. If you insist on shoving something unreasonably big into any of your orifices, you may cause delicate tissues to tear and experience a lot of bleeding. This is especially dangerous in the vagina, where a major artery can be torn just under the cervix if a huge implement is shoved too hard against that area.

I hope this doesn't scare you away from buying a sex toy or two or several. If you pay attention to how your body is responding and treat yourself with sensuality, gentleness, and kindness, you'll be okay. A vibrator is often a great resource, a source of comfort and excitement. It's probably the most important and beneficial invention in the history of women's sexuality. I wouldn't want to discourage you from having more pleasure in your life—especially if you are still a virgin! But since you didn't write to me asking any questions about that, I will refrain from teasing you about it or offering any unsolicited advice.