Yore Woman

Friday, August 27, 2010

Question

The hunt for a woman has been terrible for the past year, so I'm thinking of using the services of a sex worker for the first time to ease that natural instinct of mine. Is it okay to be selfish when it comes to dealing with a prostitute?

Let me explain myself. I am a gamer. I play a lot of video games. I never asked my ex to blow me while I play because I thought it would be disrespectful and selfish. Can I ask a prostitute to blow me or ride my cock while I play a video game, or will it interfere with her work? It's been my fantasy for a while now. The idea of being a "war hero" and getting rewarded for it at the same time turns me on.

Answer

Requesting that a partner do something sexually unusual is not in and of itself tactless or egocentric. If approached with a spirit of complicity, it can be quite the opposite: "I trust you enough to share this singular fantasy I have," you are saying.

When and how would this cross over into disrespectful territory? If you fail to acknowledge that it's not the most reciprocal fantasy and to thank your partner appropriately for her role in making it happen—whether through gushing praise delivered in your gaming character's native tongue, a lovingly prepared meal from your mystical homeland or acting out a challenging fantasy she may have. Make no mistake, this is not to be taken for granted.

When a woman says, "I love turning you on, baby," while enacting some lurid shit you've dredged up from the lizard part of your brain, it means she feels privileged and empowered by being let into your man cave. It does not mean that you are absolved of stepping up to the plate when it's her turn. So rather than issuing a statement that clears you of any responsibility, like "But you said you liked it, too," think about asking, "What can I do for you?" You've heard the expression "My pleasure"? I want you to think about it a little, you know, in a double entendre-y kind of way. That being said, blowing you while you pretend to be Lord Wolfcock doesn't sound like something a sex worker would be opposed to. Don't be surprised if the scene turns up on someone's online journal, though. Many hookers—either amongst themselves or on their blogs—love to share the details of their most interesting clients. The job can be pretty mundane, so it's always fun when someone kooky comes along.

When I was in Vegas at the Desiree Alliance conference, I ran into a voluptuous tart swivelling down the walkway to her hotel room, gingerly holding a paper bag out in front of her giant knockers. I looked at her with vague curiosity, but even that was enough for her to reveal, "I just paid the busboy in the coffee shop $20 to come in a takeout cup. I have a client in the room who loves eating sperm."