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Friday, December 02, 2016
Dear Patrick:  My 25-year-old partner has requested a spanking. I was never spanked as a child (the idea is repugnant to me), so I have no idea how to go about spanking an adult. I am not unwilling, just unsure of how to proceed. She say...
Monday, November 21, 2016

Q: A lot of public rhetoric appears to demonize female sexuality. Growing up, I would get rather embarrassed when I masturbated and, as an adult, seem to have internalized a lot of that embarrassment. Would you discuss the health and emotional benefits of female masturbation?

Friday, October 28, 2016
Love Taps Penis Pumping
Dear Patrick: I recently ran into a clip of another guy pumping his cock. It just fascinated me, but I was also worried about damage. How long can you do something like that without hurting your cock? Also, in the case of someone who was...
Friday, October 21, 2016
Dear Patrick: I am in a good relationship with a woman of transgender experience (as she puts it). We have been scrimping and saving for years now to pay for her sex-change surgery. It has taken a lot of research to find a doctor that we...
Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Q: Dear Venus, as a cis-gay man, safer sexual practices are very important to me. Unfortunately, most organizations around Ottawa think that condoms are the only freebies worth distributing. As such, I often have to resort to buying lube. Could you elaborate on the importance of lube and what each kind is for?

Chafing in Chinatown

Friday, October 14, 2016
Dear Patrick: What is the best kind of dildo to buy? I think I need one for practice. But they are expensive. So what is the best one?AnswerDear Single Girl: There are so many different kinds of sex toys available today that I hesitate t...
Friday, October 07, 2016
Love Taps Scat Fantasy
Dear Patrick: First, a bit about myself I guess. I'm a 29-year-old, white, heteroflexiblemale. I am a university graduate in the sciences, and work in a professional role related to my studies. I live in Ottawa, but find myself a little ...
Friday, September 23, 2016
Dear Patrick: I have been in love with a kind-hearted young guy for more than two years. He is smart, beautiful, and so understanding, I feel like I have met my soul mate. To prove I am loyal to him and I take this relationship seriously...
Friday, September 16, 2016
Dear Patrick: I am new to university (male) and am not quite used to being surrounded by other young people my age. One thing I have seen a lot of is hookups, and it would be a lie to say that I'm not interested in these. My worry is tha...
Friday, August 26, 2016
Dear Patrick: My fantasies, for as long as I can remember, center on being something other than a human being. Sometimes I am a cat-like being and sometimes I am a horse. This feels like my real form, and when I can sleep and dream that ...
Friday, August 19, 2016
Love Taps Sex and COPD
Dear Patrick: I was diagnosed with COPD a few months ago. It is a problem I got from a job in the manufacturing industry, being around too many solvents. Before the diagnosis, my doctor told me I had asthma, and I used various inhalers. ...
Friday, August 12, 2016
Dear Patrick: I am writing to ask if you have any theories about why incest fantasies are so common. As a top, I find that more and more often, other guys call me “Daddy” without even bothering to ask if that’s okay. I don’t think they w...
Friday, August 05, 2016
Dear Patrick: I'm so relieved to finally have someone to ask this! I have been sexuallyactive for about three years with the same partner, a long term relationship. I have never had an orgasm. I enjoy sex, but I wouldn't say I feel sexua...
Friday, July 29, 2016
Love Taps Sex and IBS
Dear Patrick: After years of discomfort and embarrassment, I have finally gotten an explanation for the problems I have been having with my digestive system. A specialist says that I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). In order to contr...
Friday, July 22, 2016
Dear Patrick: You promised several weeks ago to write a column about genderqueer people and sexuality. I was and am offended by fiction and non-fiction in which the author assumes that only men have penises and only women have vaginas. I...
Friday, July 15, 2016
Dear Patrick: I am a transman who is having trouble dating heterosexual women. It seems to me that women who have sex with men don’t like them very much. Is that possible? I have had girls I am dating speak to me in a condescending way, ...
Friday, July 08, 2016
Dear Patrick: I am trying to become active in my local BDSM community, but I am having a very hard time relating to the group I tried to join. I keep being rebuked by various group leaders for behavior that they think shows poor social s...
Friday, July 01, 2016
Dear Patrick: I would expect a libertine like yourself to be in favor of a remedy like PrEP that promises to let gay men have sex without condoms and still prevent AIDS. It is horrifying to me to see all of the public health education we...
Friday, June 24, 2016
Dear Patrick: I am writing about the woman whose girlfriend wanted to have, she felt, too many orgasms. I am in a similar position, which is that I have orgasms all of the time. Only it is not a pleasant experience, no lover or partner i...
Friday, June 17, 2016
Love Taps Put Off
Dear Patrick: I’m an attendant for a paraplegic man. He needs to be catheterized a few times a day, so I go over to his apartment and take care of that, make his meals, take care of his service dog, etc. Lately he has had a friend—a very...
Friday, June 10, 2016
Love Taps Stuck
Dear Patrick: I am a 36-year-old woman who has struggled with depression her whole life. My doctor finally talked me into taking anti-depressants. I was single at the time so I thought if the medication had side-effects that affected my ...
Friday, June 03, 2016
Love Taps A Caring Client
Dear Patrick: When I hire a woman to have sex with me, am I doing her any harm? It was recently suggested to me that most sex workers were abused when they were little girls. The fact that they get paid for sex is every bit as traumatic,...
Friday, May 27, 2016
Love Taps Shattered
Dear Patrick: I am one of about 2,000 American veterans whose genitals were injured by an IED (improvised explosive device). In my case, a roadside bomb also took off my legs and one of my arms. Soldiers and Marines like me are waiting f...
Friday, May 20, 2016
Love Taps Exhausted Butch
Dear Patrick: I know that women can have multiple orgasms, and I have happily given my lovers two, three, or four orgasms during long sessions of loud and sweaty lesbian sex. But my latest girl is about to lay me out! Can you tell me if ...
Friday, May 13, 2016
Dear Patrick: I have been part of a triad for three years now. My other lovers are a “straight” couple, a man and a woman, who were together for eight years before I met them. She wanted to explore sex with another woman so he gave her p...
Thursday, March 24, 2016
Dear Patrick: I recently went home with a very attractive young woman and thought I was lucky as hell to have gotten her attention. But after we undressed, I was absolutely freaked out to see that she had a ring through her vagina. I was...
Thursday, March 24, 2016
Dear Patrick: How do cock rings work? Can they help you to stay hard if you have a problem coming too soon? Where can you get one? Which one should I try?AnswerDear Straight Reader: While it’s true that cock rings were popularized by gay...
Thursday, March 24, 2016
Dear Patrick: Is it true that if you use a toy like a vibrator, it will become more difficult for you to enjoy other kinds of pleasure?AnswerDear Fascinated but Nervous: Vibrators were one of the first small appliances to be invented onc...
Thursday, March 10, 2016
Dear Patrick: Do you think it’s okay for a couple to use masturbation for birth control? The pill is really difficult for me to tolerate, and I don’t like the idea of an IUD. My husband is satisfied with massage, oral sex, and a hand job...
Thursday, March 03, 2016
Love Taps Haunted
Dear Patrick: You have often discussed trauma survivors and how difficult it can be for them to have a sex life. There is one aspect of this topic that is important to me, which I don’t see mentioned very often. My husband is a veteran. ...
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
The book review blitz continues! I’ve got some other stuff in the works, too, including two more book reviews, a couple of film reviews, and a blog format update I hope you’ll like. Stay tuned!For now, read on to learn more about a book ...
Tuesday, January 05, 2016
Hey there! Happy New Year! I’m not much one for New Year’s resolutions, but I am doing my darnedest to check a bunch of things off my long-standing to-do list, and it seems this week inspiration is in the air. So I’ve got a few book revi...
Friday, October 30, 2015
Love Taps Mid-Life Crisis
Dear Patrick: As I hit middle age, I am starting to worry about a sexual pattern that I can’t seem to change. I don’t have any trouble functioning with women as long as we are just dating and getting to know each other. I have to confess...
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Full disclosure: I don’t often read erotica. I can’t totally explain why. It may just be that I have a short attention span and a colossal stack of books. For whatever reason, I am prone to starting erotic anthologies and never finishing...
Friday, October 23, 2015
Love Taps Buzzing
Dear Patrick: I am a 26-year old virgin. I bought my first vibrator and I use it a couple of times a week. I get super turned on with it, to the point where everything is extremely sensitive. But I don't know if I've ever had an orgasm, ...
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Love Taps New Mom
Dear Patrick: I gave birth to my first child three months ago. He was an unusually large baby, and during labor, my perineum tore. According to my OB-GYN, there was no time to do an episiotomy. It has been really difficult to pick the ba...
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Love Taps Spurned
Dear Patrick: I’m a gay man who has pretty frequent sex with guys I meet on-line. I’ve also got a few friends who hook up with me for hot times. Sex tends to come and go in these relationships. I try to keep the friendship whether we are...
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Love Taps Spurned
Dear Patrick: I’m a gay man who has pretty frequent sex with guys I meet on-line. I’ve also got a few friends who hook up with me for hot times. Sex tends to come and go in these relationships. I try to keep the friendship whether we are...
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Dear Patrick: I seem to get a urinary tract infection every time I have sex with another woman. Is there any way to prevent these? The pain and fever can be bad enough that I have to call in sick to work, and it’s embarrassing to try to ...
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Love Taps Stolen Sex
Dear Patrick: I’ve been dating this guy for a while and woke up with a bad cold after one of our dates. He told me I could just stay at his apartment and enjoy a sick day while he went to work. I was looking for a video to watch and acci...
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Love Taps Melody
Dear Patrick: I am a trans woman who wants SRS. It’s been a long wait while I saved money. There just never seemed to be enough. But I have a sugar daddy now who promises he will make me a real woman so we can get married. I am going to ...
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Love Taps Blocked
Dear Patrick: My question relates to the topic of BDSM and open relationships. I have a girlfriend who seems to be backing down from her initial interest in exploring both of these things, even though it was something we talked about fre...
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Love Taps Hopeful
I have trouble with intimacy from previous childhood abuse and normally space out during sex.  I am working with a therapist now who wants me to explore my body to see if I can orgasm.  This has been difficult but I am going to try it. I...
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Love Taps New Diagnosis
Dear Patrick: I am a bottom who has Crohn’s disease. All of my fantasies are about getting fucked by another man. For years I wondered why I was having trouble with my bowel, and went through a series of medications and diets to try to c...
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
In the past few years, I’ve undergone quite a number of medical tests and procedures, some highly invasive (spinal cord surgery), some much less so (Holter monitor). I started to notice that a kind of emotional exhaustion would occur aft...
Friday, September 18, 2015
Dear Patrick: I am a woman in her early thirties whose husband was killed fighting overseas. I am raising our son. Being a mom has helped me to get over some of my grief about losing my husband. But about a year ago, I wanted to start da...
Friday, September 11, 2015
Love Taps Shook Up
Dear Patrick: A girl I was dating seemed to be having a little trouble in bed. So I asked her if there was anything I could do to help her relax. She told me that it would arouse her a lot if I would wear a pair of her panties to bed. Th...
Friday, September 04, 2015
Dear Patrick: I am a dyke whose lovers often complain that I have a weak libido. I have been wondering lately if taking testosterone would solve that problem for me. Do you think that taking male hormones would allow me to have a stronge...