Sex Ed

Sex ed

Since 1998, we've been committed to making sex education and products accessible and fun. We think our customers deserve quality products and information and that sex should be dirty in a good way, not a shameful one. We believe that one of the best tools you can have to enjoy a healthy and erotic sex life is knowledge. In this section of the site, you'll find lots of information and opinions about sex, sexuality, gender, and more.

Workshops

We offer many workshops through our Ottawa and Halifax locations, as well out as in the community.

Ottawa  |  Halifax

 

Advice

Check out our sex and relationship advice column written by the amazing Patrick Califia.

 

Blogs

A bunch of smart and sexy folks regularly blog about sex, relationships, culture, and more here.

 

Articles & Pamphlets

We have written a bunch of articles & pamphlets about everything from kegels to BDSM.

 

Recent blog posts

We're so happy to announce that we're nominated for an XBIZ award for 2018 Boutique Retail Business of The Year! Nominees for the 2018 XBIZ Awards were selected based on more than 8,000 pre-nominations submitted by members of the indust...

Dear VE,

My partner and I have been together for quite a while now and we have a great sex life, though it is a tad vanilla. I’ve always had an interest in BDSM but I’m not quite sure how to broach the subject with my partner, especially since we’re already so happy in bed. How would you recommend I introduce some kink into the bedroom without either spoiling the possible surprise or scaring or turning off my partner?

Feeling Naughty in Nepean

Dear Patrick: I am a trans woman who got SRS nearly ten years ago. It was not done as well as the vaginoplasty techniques surgeons use today. I don’t have a clitoris or inner lips, for example. But I was very happy to have a more female appearance. The only problem was that my vagina was not very deep. No matter how often I dilated, it stayed the same. My tiny little cooter just wouldn’t work for intercourse. It was too painful.

But sex is a powerful motivating force, and I have learned how to please myself and my dark-skinned road warrior of a lover. Every once in a while, I enjoy teasing my man by oiling up his cock and putting only half of it in my pussy. I sit on top of him, hold him down, and tell him he can only have part of what he wants. It  drives him crazy!

To be honest, I am not the kind of girl who holds men down. So we usually have a great time with vigorous anal sex. Unfortunately, the sex got so exciting last week that I had some bleeding that wouldn’t stop. (My lover’s cock is not average-size.) So I saw my doctor. He wanted to know why my rectum was bleeding. He sent my wise-daddy-better-half out into the waiting room. Had I been sexually assaulted? the doctor asked me. I assured him that I had not been raped, I was just not being as cautious as I should have been while I was lost in the screaming throes of toe-curling booty-destruction.

“But you have had SRS,” he told me (as if I wouldn’t know). “Aren’t you a heterosexual woman? Why would you want to have anal sex, like a gay man? I am frankly upset that anyone approved your surgery. It seems to me that you are ambivalent about your gender. No one should have genital surgery until they understand what it means to make a commitment to their true self.”

Where does he get off saying this? Okay, so sometimes I still DO feel a little like a gay man. That was an unhappy part of my life that is over now. I was always trying to let more of my femininity out, and my friends who were gay men were always telling me that these efforts were unattractive and weird. Now I can be myself, in a combination of masculine and feminine traits that are authentic because they come from MY steam-punk spirit and MY witchy self-expression. Nobody has a right to tell me that I am not an authentic woman. I have paid for the right to be a woman, literally in blood.

Anyway … my doctor gave me some ointment for my poor broken ass and told me to take it easy with the back-door banging. Then he sent me home. I crept out to the waiting room in tears, feeling slimy, and told my honey to get me home ASAP. I spent the rest of the night wrapped in a soft blanket watching “Vampire Academy.” It’s my soft lesbian porn, a country of intimacy and sexual pleasure that I have yet to visit.

There aren’t very many doctors in my area who treat trans folk at all. So I feel like I am stuck with this GP. But he really hurt my feelings and scared me. I think if he could have taken away my SRS, he would have revoked it! The questions he asked stung me like fire. I keep hearing them over and over again, and I just want to cringe.

I’m not sure why I am writing to you or what I want you to do. I don’t exactly need advice. Maybe you could check up on this guy and find out if he was sleeping all the way through his classes on human sexuality?—Randi the Natural Redhead

Dear Patrick: I am an FTM, a transgender man, who is sexually attracted to other men. In the past I have only dated other trans-fags. But I have met a man (non-trans) who is really cute, and he says he wants me to top him. In the past this has been a problem for me. It seems like all of my younger friends are cute boys who want a dominant guy to fuck them. I always enjoy hearing about their adventures, but this is not my idea of a good time. I like to run the fuck. Using a prosthesis has usually not been a problem with women, but I don’t know how gay men feel about this. Do you think I should throw this one back and keep on seeing what I can hook in the dating pond?—Top and Trans

Dear Patrick: Do you have any advice for two bears who would like to fuck, but don’t have the longest cocks in the world? We love each other’s furry bellies until they get in the way when we want to have sex. Ideas? Positions? Magic spells?—Not In Yet