How to Make a Long-Distance Relationship Work

By Jaley Hardy

Relationships are hard but long-distance relationships (LDR for short) can be a whole new kind of challenge. You’re adding distance, time differences, conflicting schedules, and lack of in-person intimacy which can increase that struggle and frustration. After experiencing an LDR myself, here are a few strategies that helped me navigate the ups and downs and kept my relationship healthy and strong despite the distance.

 COM-UN-I-CATE

             This is the biggest, most important, relationship saving hack you have. In an LDR, you don’t have body language, physical touch, and each other’s presence to communicate so you need to compensate. Share all the feels and I’m not just talking about the big issues (although that’s important as well) but the little things matter too. Your partner isn’t there to experience the days with you. Did you have an awesome meal while out with friends? Tell your partner and get specific! What about that meal was so pleasurable? What were the flavours like? How did the experience make you feel? Details matter and will give your partner a chance to feel like they were there with you! LDR’s are an awesome way to strengthen those communication skills.

EXPECTATIONS AND TIME

When starting an LDR, it’s important to figure out what you both expect and how much time you have to dedicate to the relationship. If you both have crazy schedules with limited free time, you need to discuss what you’re both willing to give. Are you going to call every day? Once a week? Bi-weekly? Do you have daily check-ins?. It’s important to agree on what’s going to work for you so no one’s feelings are hurt. It can also help to have a scheduled time for the next time you’re going to see each other, even if it’s months away. Knowing at some point you’ll get to be together again can be exciting for you both!

DATE NIGHTS

In our new COVID world, there are so many ways to connect virtually. Face time and cook the same meal together, play a virtual game online, take a virtual museum tour, read a book together, or watch a movie together (thanks Netflix party!). It’s important to still schedule and make time for one another. Date nights are a way to feel connected and to have some long-distance fun.

SEX

One of the harder elements of an LDR can be keeping that sexual intimacy alive. You obviously can’t physically touch but that doesn’t mean the physical attraction isn’t still there. Figure out what you’re both comfortable with. Do you want to sext? Send nudes? Video chat and masturbate? Read an erotic novel together? Watch the same porn? You can keep it simple or go all out but once you figure out your boundaries, LDR sex can be exciting, liberating, and spicy!